I am not especially chatty and not great at small talk. When I don't have anything to say, I am not in the habit of trying to fill the silence with a conversation about the weather. The closer I am to a person, the more comfortable I am with silence (just ask my husband). Sometimes it feels good just being present with someone without agenda, with no need to say anything. My dogs never talk, but having them near gives great comfort and sometimes intense joy. They don't need to say or do a thing.

I was more talkative when I was younger, so much so that if I was alone (or even among others), I constantly spoke to God. Every thought in my head was a prayer, an ongoing conversation I trusted was heard. I believed God was always listening, for how could an omnipotent One not be? It comforted me, and no thought was too trivial to offer up through prayer. I was just as likely to think, "Dear God, I'm going to get a glass of water" as I was to ask for help or healing.

As I grew into adolescence, that kind of connection disappeared. I still prayed, but no longer did I purposely direct all thinking to God. As many of us do, I would pray when I wanted or felt I needed something, or I'd pray for someone else. It made me feel I was not alone and felt like I was doing something meaningful.

Now in my fifties, I meditate daily, and I have come to know how similar it is to prayer. It is not the same, but it serves a similar purpose. It is an intentional connection. My son asked me once about meditation. Sometimes it is hard to explain, and not just because there are so many ways to do it––much like prayer. To my son, I offered this: 

Prayer is when we speak to God. 

Meditation is when we simply sit quietly with God. 

In a sense, then, I still pray every day, only I do so silently. Just being is enough. I expect God agrees.

What is prayer for you?