The lyrics in the song “Easy On Me” are a mix of the despair, loss, and hopefulness Adele experienced during a time in her life. She said, “I’ve shed many layers but also wrapped myself in new ones. I discovered genuinely useful and wholesome mentalities to lead with, and I feel like I’ve finally found my feelings again. I’d go as far as to say I’ve never felt more peaceful.”

We chose this song because it reminds us that any growth in life requires giving up one thing for something else. In his book “Lose Love Live,” Dan Mosley notes that developing clarity about the different things you give up will help free you to move toward a new life and a sense of self you desire. To learn to live again in the absence of something or someone that is gone requires that you develop the ability to name all that is lost.

Think about a loss you may not have named or identified as a loss. For example, a divorce, an empty nest, a job, financial security, or even the losses of aging. What layers have you lost?  How have you wrapped yourself in new ones? It is hard to grieve something you don’t recognize as a loss. How might you engage in grieving these losses?

Taylor Swift wrote this song after her mother and father were both diagnosed with cancer. It was a difficult song to write and sing as it is so personal, but the family decided to include the song on an album as a resource to help others.

Have you ever had a difficult diagnosis for yourself or a loved one? 

Think back to that moment. What happened? 

How did you feel? 

How did you manage life going forward? What happens when things don’t get better? 

How might you or would you handle a terminal diagnosis for yourself or a loved one?

Working through the sorrow, trauma, and grief was the driving inspiration for Paul Zach’s writing “Sorrows Got a Hold on Me.” In an interview, he shared, “I’m learning to bring all of myself to God in prayer and songwriting, which includes my sorrow and anger. I’ve always heard that God shows up uniquely in times of grief and sorrow, but that has not been my experience. These songs invite the “man of sorrows” to join me in my grief.”

Consider a challenging death or loss. How did sorrow grab hold of you?

Death is painful. In the interview, Paul notes that he has struggled with finding God in his grief and sorrow. Can you relate?

Let’s face it: we do not like pain. The absence we experience when a loved one dies can be lonely, isolating, and overwhelming. Yet it is the pain that reminds us we are still alive, and when we experience these painful feelings, they move us to a new way of being or what I call “a new normal.”  But it is a process. It takes time, and we don’t process things the same way. 

How have you or how have you not processed a loss? When someone dies, our friends and family (most often trying to be helpful) respond in different ways. Think about how others helped or hindered you during grief. How do you respond when a friend loses a loved one?