How to Be an Ally

Matthew Vire • June 4, 2024

Why "Pride"?

I once had a close friend ask me, "Why is there a 'Pride' month? Why does the gay community talk so much about pride?" He was an ally to be sure, but he did not understand how pride came to be associated with being gay. I think it's a good question, and one I expect many people have.


Last week, I came across a meme someone had posted on social media criticizing Pride month. The gist of it was that people in the LGBTQ community have not accomplished anything simply by being LGBTQ, so they have no reason to be celebratory and prideful. The tone was clear; this was not the statement of an ally, but of someone who wishes the LGBTQ community would just be quiet and stop making themselves so visible. 


In fact, with courage and tenacity, LGBTQ people have accomplished a great deal in the past few decades. Attitudes have changed dramatically, the majority of Americans support marriage quality (and that percentage keeps increasing), and people are embracing their gender and sexual identities more readily than ever. That IS something to celebrate. Even so, Pride in our community is not really about accomplishments. So, what is it about? What can you, as an ally, tell people if this question arises?


Pride is a direct response to the message of shame that has been put upon queer people for generations. We say we have pride because the message that we should be ashamed of who we are remains prevalent. We reject that message, and we embrace pride because it is the opposite of shame. We are not proud of our sexual identities and/or non-conforming gender identities because we think we should be rewarded for them. We are proud because we know we are worthy of love, acceptance, and equality.


Pride month is about celebrating diversity and affirming our right to be seen, accepted, and respected, even if we are not necessarily understood. 


This Sunday at The Garden, we will welcome some guests from the LGBTQ community who will help us understand what allyship is, and how we can be allies for each other.


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